I almost felt sorry for my single self today, I’m sorry to say. I almost made the click to my “depressive music” playlist. What stopped me you ask? My realization that I haven’t learned to love myself. Maybe the reason I have stayed single for so long is the fact that I can’t appreciate have I have to offer. Being focused on looking for someone with the right qualities for so long has strayed me to believe relationships are about finding the “one”. In reality, relationships are simply about taking away good qualities from every person. How am I supposed to find someone to discover good qualities about myself if I don’t even know?!
For where I am in life, I can say I’m satisfied. I have a best friend I can always count on, I have a nice house to relax in, I’m pretty smart, a passionate writer and I have Sex and the City season 4. What more could I ask for? This Valentine’s Day I toast to you, Kelley Bauer; you’re the one person I can always count on, one heck of a girl, and I’m happy to have gotten to know you.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Love Bites
I sat on the porch that night wondering if she’d come home. I didn’t mean to hurt her, I swear. A mosquito buzzed in my ear; with a swift motion I swatted it away, but it kept coming back. “Go ahead!” I told the bug still hovering over my ripe earlobe. After contemplation, the mosquito left. It knew my hand was fully capable of killing. The endeavor was much too risky. He’ll come back though; I said to myself, they all do.
I still remember the way she left. First, I heard her suitcase shut. It didn’t close all the way, though (carried her emotions everywhere). “I’ll find you,” I said as she locked the suitcase. She said nothing only slamming the screen door on her way out. As she left, I saw a bruise on her hip. Quickly, I looked away. What kind of animal would do that to her? She’s so young. She’s so beautiful. I wanted to punch the guy in face that abused her like that, but I couldn’t very well punch myself (I’ve tried though). I knew it was bad, but I was crazy for her and she misused me. She threw me around like the recycle; never really understanding me. She hurt me.
I decided I should go inside. There was no use in waiting. I’ve suffered many loses in my time and each seemingly greater than the last. All I could do now is learn from my mistakes. “Ouch!” I yelped. I raised my hand to the source finding a bump on my left earlobe. I knew he’d come back, but I never thought he’d arrive now! Oh well, I’m sure the itch will go away in a bit.
I still remember the way she left. First, I heard her suitcase shut. It didn’t close all the way, though (carried her emotions everywhere). “I’ll find you,” I said as she locked the suitcase. She said nothing only slamming the screen door on her way out. As she left, I saw a bruise on her hip. Quickly, I looked away. What kind of animal would do that to her? She’s so young. She’s so beautiful. I wanted to punch the guy in face that abused her like that, but I couldn’t very well punch myself (I’ve tried though). I knew it was bad, but I was crazy for her and she misused me. She threw me around like the recycle; never really understanding me. She hurt me.
I decided I should go inside. There was no use in waiting. I’ve suffered many loses in my time and each seemingly greater than the last. All I could do now is learn from my mistakes. “Ouch!” I yelped. I raised my hand to the source finding a bump on my left earlobe. I knew he’d come back, but I never thought he’d arrive now! Oh well, I’m sure the itch will go away in a bit.
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