1 a.m. Wednesday night, she finally hit the light switch. Lying there, she knew. Any doubt from her mind expelled; every barrier she built razed. Her bedside prayers replaced with pleas to the heavens to give her peace from the brilliant torment, but rest would only allow her unforgiving subconscious wild pursuit. She was consumed by the touch, the taste, in every sense. To any onlooker and even in her own introspection, she was insane.
A few years prior, she had been anonymous like most people of their early teens. Exposed to a plethora of opportunity, each of which she either declined or failed. She needed a dose of validation and identity. From her insecurities, she grew, not stronger but thicker. Every day a new skin she wore like a coat, protecting herself from the outside she had become too afraid to tackle. Comfortable and warm inside herself, it was at this distance she could handle interaction. She played games. Toying with people, teasing them, playing an infinite game of playground tag. Pretend was her favorite game of course when she wore her coat. People were games. Each game she grew weary of.
Then, she met you. It wasn’t magic or some serendipitous event, as a romantic might dream. Perhaps at the most, a series of chain reactions when put together made a miraculous chemical potency. They asked her why and she couldn’t form the words. It all jumbled together in the moment mincing her vocabulary into that of three words, “I don’t know”. Of course, she did know but how on Earth could it all be expressed. Could she acceptably dissolve it into one word and say, “Everything”?
When the both of your eyes lock, she felt words lost all value.
When you envelope her in your arms, her chest floods with warmth.
When you talk to her so gently, she listens in vibrant colors.
When you’re with her, the world melts away.
Although she may be mad, she’s finally at peace. Her coat, her shelter she has grown up with has been dissembled. And like a rebirth, she finds herself radiating in her new, pure porcelain skin. However, she's no longer afraid. Your embrace protects her, keeps her warm.
She imagines you next to her as she tries to sleep Wednesday night… all rest easy.
2 comments:
you know you have a way with articulating emotions in your writing! this is a peice that needs to be read several times because each time you read it, you extract a new meaning.
you know you have a way with articulating emotions in your writing! this is a peice that needs to be read several times because each time you read it, you extract a new meaning.
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