Diary of a Dream Home

When Lindsay and Mark got married, they built a beautiful home on Waterbrook Drive, one of the more expensive neighborhoods in Elk Cove. Charming red-brown bricks and four strong standing columns guarded their house with a two level deck in the back. In the front yard, maple trees lined the driveway and elegant rose bushes were neatly trimmed by the front door. “Our house is by far the best one on the block,” commented Mark. Lindsay nodded. The couple couldn’t be happier.

Years passed and the young couple now had a child. The gorgeous baby girl’s name was Megan. She had blue eyes with a green silhouette and fluffy auburn hair. Shortly after her birth, Mark’s mom was a regular guest. They cooed over Megan for hours and forgot about House’s bath. House didn’t mind though, it preferred waiting another year for the living room window scrub, because usually Mark’s squeegees tickled House.” Lindsay and Mark are just too busy with Megan and work,” House reassured himself, “I kind of enjoy the activity anyway”. After all, the busy family was still happy.

More years went by and the family still appeared happy. Megan, Lindsay, and Mark were all in good health, including their cat Luke. House remained in beautiful condition. However, their perfectly wrapped family was coming undone. Inside their room, the lovely couple fought about everything sometimes even House. While outside the door, little Megan cried grasping her doll. Every night when tensions would rise, House stand tall as it was instructed and would not speak. When the family set out with smiles each morning, House still felt the ugly shadows left behind and still said nothing. Eventually, House lost his voice. Now the family could only be seen happy on the wall by the stairwell.

Even more time slipped by and the house was still considered a dream home to envious neighbors. It was immaculately clean; a cleaning crew came once a year to wash the house’s windows. They never used the ticklish ones. The deck glowed with a weather resistant coating and the lawn care service always did a good job keeping up with the grass. Nevertheless, the beautiful house was alone. Mark “took a job in the city” last year, Lindsay was always at work or something, and Megan ran a lot after school. All the pictures by the stairwell were taken down after Mark moved out and all traces of their happy family were missing. On the outside the house was still great, but the inside was hollow and drafty.

Eggs

“Eggs again?” I asked my mom sitting down for another Monday morning breakfast. She only hummed tossing the eggs gently with her spatula. “Your eggs are nasty,” I said trying to evoke a response.
“Sunny-side up,” she said smiling sliding the white oozing mess onto my plate. Geeze, I thought, if she would just pay more attention to the eggs, they’d be fine. Nothing bothered me more than her eggs. With a prolonged sigh, I dipped my fork into the white part. My tongue revolted; the egg was bland and runny. The yolk was even worse. It stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I felt its artificial flavor cling to my taste buds. It was a complete disaster! “Did these eggs come from chickens or factories?” I asked wiping the egg particles from my mouth. I left for school without touching the rest of my decidedly bad egg.
Even though I left early for school, before I knew it the 8:16 bell rang before I even walked in the building. In the process of running to chemistry, my books slid across the floor. A girl stopped to help but I much too busy screaming profanities down the hallway to care.
Four painful classes later it was lunch. I was standing in the lunch line with my friend Liz when Katherine-the-creature started talking to me. “How was your weekend?” she asked revealing her yellow teeth. “It was awful,” I replied, “I got grounded and my phone got taken away. That’s why I couldn’t text you back to say I couldn’t make it to the mall Saturday. Sorry!”
“Oh don’t worry about it,” Katherine smiled. I waved as she crept away on her boney chicken legs. Like I’d really hang out with her! As she passed within earshot, I laughed. Liz stared at me utterly confused. “She looks like an ugly-ass-tranny-hobbit!” I howled. Surprisingly, Liz didn’t even smile. In fact, she only displayed a look of distain and ignored me the rest of lunch.
At 3:05, I was more than excited to get home. “What a way to begin the week,” I said plopping myself in front of the television. Why was everything going so badly? My friends hate me, I’m failing chemistry, and it all started with… eggs. That’s right! It was that stupid, artificial old egg I ate this morning. Hmm, who knew one bad egg could do so much harm?